Life As A Pile of Legos

Living in an imperfect world worshipping a perfect God can be a bit trying on our hearts. Somehow our heart gets caught in the middle of trust in our perfect God coupled with the disappointments and trials of walking out our faith in a fallen world. The Age of Reason makes us logical--A+B=C always, we grasp for understanding in our simple human minds when things don't go as we plan or we get hurt or disappointed. Eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden doesn't help our faith because we would rather grasp for understanding of the facts and weigh what we perceive as true and not true than cry out to God for comfort and enjoy His presence (His original design!).

Recently during an incredible ministry disappointment I was saddened by the fact that my trust in God seems so dependent on things ending the way I expected when I started down a road that God was leading to. When God led a completely different way at the end, it was easy to follow, but hard to comprehend. Hence, my circling over the facts only produced discouragement because there was no "logical" explanation without blame or shame. As I asked God for a picture or something to give peace, I pictured a pile of legos. As children play with legos, they build dreams from their hearts. However, that creation can come tumbling down due to: a poor design, the cat pouncing on them, a loving parent asking for them to be cleaned up because its time for the child to go to bed (rest is a need but builders don't always look after their needs!) or tearing down for the sheer desire to create something new or different. Somehow this spoke to my logical brain and released it from having to be so linear in my thinking...life is way more complex, there are multiple factors at work all the time (the world, the enemy, the flesh, the redeemed heart, and God are all players). Just because a dream comes crashing down doesn't mean its over for good. Just like kids, when the legos tumble, there is crying and a time of grief over the disappointment and loss, but they still own the legos (the building blocks of dreams), so at some point in the future, they can be brought out again---maybe with the same children or a new group, maybe a similar creation or something completely new with wisdom gained from previous creations. There is freedom in letting go of that original design, because the building blocks were not destroyed, just given opportunity to be rearranged.

Be thankful for the dreams (the building blocks), no one and no circumstance can take them from your heart. Be thankful for who God made you to be, to be the keeper of the dreams/desires from Him. Don't let logic make you cynical and give up!!! Be thankful that our God is so sovereign, so creative and so able to be multifaceted regarding our dreams. By focusing on who He is in the middle of loss gives hope that one failed attempt or even several is not the final product!! As you delight yourself in the Lord, may He give you desires in your heart---maybe determination and perseverance for old ones as He confirms, or completely new ones...either way, may strength, courage and hope by yours as you choose to trust in our PERFECT God in the midst of our imperfect world and wait on His timing!

"Trust in the Lord and do good...Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun...If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his footsteps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:3-6,23,24

Hugged by God

Psalm 16 has ministered to me all summer in so many different ways. Now this fall I'm finding my "structured" little life has been hit with a whirlwind of change--settling my in-laws into assisted living, enrolling my oldest daughter in a charter school (2 weeks into the school year), God saying to leave our church to look for another, Chuck's job search and even the postponing of Unveil--this all has my "safety net" of structure and expectations totally unraveled. I feel exposed and yet protected, uncertain and yet more sure than ever of the One I'm following, I feel rather upside down and CANNOT let that lead to doubt of where He has led so far in the midst of all these changes nor can it detract from knowing He has a path and a reason for it all.

Anyway, Psalm 16 gave some comfort as to the "structure" my heart needs--I noticed two things being "at a right hand" in Ps. 16--vs. 8 says, "I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
and again in vs. 11 "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

So I pictured whose right hand is talked about in each verse---God is at my right hand and being filled with joy in His presence with the pleasures at His right hand---these verses "work" best if you picture facing God so He is at your right hand and then you are at His right hand where His eternal pleasures are--an embrace or hug really!

As each of us grows in intimacy with Him, may living in His embrace truly be where we dwell as His beloved and then we ARE NOT shaken and we are on the path to LIFE filled with joy from His presence. Consider yourself hugged by God!!!

Another Lesson From My Sheepdog

Kody, our sheepdog is now 7 months old. At first he was incredibly timid and super quiet as he observed all of our activities. It seemed he wasn't quite sure what his role was. As I've blogged before, he had trust issues from being a stray. Now as he's grown in trusting us, his personality is really coming alive. My favorite quirk of his is his morning "routine". After being in his kennel all night, he is sooo excited to see us in the morning. After going "potty" outside he comes in the house and grabs the first bone he sees and energetically wanders from person to person hoping for an invitation into a lap. This is such a special time for me as he just exudes happiness through all of his moaning, wheezing, and constant wiggles. Its like he's filling up on our love to be brave the rest of the day. As he has come to trust us, he is growing in his "glory"--being a sheepdog, which translates into guarding his "sheep"--us, his family. He has been offering his glory in barking at strange noises, greeting new people to make sure they are safe, playing fetch and quietly laying on our porch "on guard".

This crazy, love-filled morning routine makes me desire similar in my morning routine with God. To be so excited to be in His presence for the shear delight of it, knowing He delights in being with me as well. A time just to fill up on who He is, who He says I am, and grow in trust and Christ-likeness. All of this is so I can grow in love, freedom and confidence. Out of that I can offer more of who He created me to be for His glory and enjoy more LIFE that is truly life.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord." 2 Corinthians 3:18

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10

How is your "morning routine"? May you be transformed from glory to glory as you draw near Him who loves you most. May His kingdom advance as His glory in you is offered out of a heart full of love and life. What would the world be missing if you did not offer your glory?

He Is At My Right Hand

For a few months I've been meditating on Psalm 16. It speaks of deep dependence on God--His refuge, doing only His assignments, the joy of His counsel and security found in Him alone...All of this so that we might know the true path to LIFE!!!

Even in light of all that, it still seems like I don't know where to "place" God since I can't see Him. I KNOW God is active in my life, but I can be independent minded and feel on my own at times. Recently I was really struck by Psalm 16:8-9

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure."

That's it He's at my right hand!! I can picture the back of me with a man in a white robe on my right with his arm around my shoulder and we are walking along a path. This also makes me think of "His yoke is easy and this burden is light"--like I'm yoked to Him in fellowship and with his gentle arm around me, not just some ox with a hard wooden yoke on my shoulders!!

This really helped when I was stirred up with a myriad of decisions I needed to make regarding my children's education. Why is it at night that this all stirs up and robs me of the sleep I so desperately need?? Anyway, as I was stirred up I pictured Jesus with His arm around me. This relieved my burden as I prayed, giving it to Him and telling Him I trusted Him to show me, to lead me and to walk beside me. I think I was stirred about three times that night, but each time I pictured Him with me and gave Him the burden and I was able to roll over and fall asleep.

So if I were to rewrite Ps. 16:8-9 based on this it would read something like this:

When I remember to place the Lord before myself, I am reminded that His arm is around me and we can walk the path together so I don't need to worry. This makes my heart glad (and relieved), may my tongue rejoice and give Him praise...AND I can even sleep at night!!

Transformed Like a Butterfly

I was going through a time where there just seemed to be weight on my heart. No real reason, just weight. I spent some time in prayer...spent some time confessing and also asking God to remove the weight as it was getting oppressive. Its was a sweet time with Him.

That night I had a dream that I was being bent backwards into water at the edge of an ocean by a man in a white robe. As I came up out of the water, I placed my hands palm side up in front of me. The man in the robe placed a monarch butterfly in my cupped hands.

The heaviness is gone...as though something really was washed away and replaced by transformation. A butterfly is transformed from a caterpillar to a lovely, graceful creature that can flutter, soar and rest to drink nectar. This is what I desire in my walk with Jesus--to rest in Him and drink deeply from His life giving Word, the nectar that truly satisfies. I long to flutter and soar with grace and beauty that inspires the world. And with Jesus, any burden is light just like holding that almost weightless butterfly in my hand!

Deer Tracks

This summer I've been trying to live out the saying, "variety is the spice of life." Being middle age I've realized I've gotten into old familiar patterns and life has a way of becoming boring! One weekend away with friends to draw near God, I applied this saying...asking God to expand my natural way of doing things and to Father me throughout the weekend to draw near Him and to add variety.

One afternoon I was drawn to go for a walk in the woods during a gentle rain. Wrapped in a blanket to stay warm, I was enjoying this new experience...I found myself singing "mercies are falling, are falling, are falling...mercies are falling like a sweet spring rain". I was just delighting in the carefree activity, the worship, the warmth of the blanket as though God's arms were wrapped around me.

I asked God for some visual symbol or picture during my walk so that I could have a "momento" of this precious time with Him that would sink deep into my heart to KNOW He is indeed always with me. In a few paces I walked through some mud that was covered with deer tracks. Indeed my soul was yearning for God as a deer pants for water! Also made me think of a favorite book "Hinds Feet on High Places". I asked God if I could see two deer to symbolize Him and me walking through life together...I ventured on hopeful that two deer would be awaiting me around every turn of the trail I was on...desire...expectancy...hope...

I returned to the house I was staying in thrilled at the deer prints and thinking I was being a bit demanding for the two deer. I was just thankful for the intimate time with Him and the deer prints which satisfied my heart..

The next morning I was sitting at the breakfast table with my friends and we were sharing the highlights from the weekend. I looked up and there on a shelf above the window were two statues of deer!!! I burst out laughing. Hinds feet on high places, literally!!

I love how God knows me, sees me, gives good things and has a sense of humor!!

A Strong Tower

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10

This past weekend I experienced the blessing of a strong tower in several ways. I was sitting in the heat of the day drawing, however I was in the shadow of a tall tree and I was not hot nor sunburned from my time outside. The song "He is my strong tower" went through my head and it got me thinking how God is refreshment in the middle of the heat of life.

The next day, I was reading my Bible under a tree when it started to rain...first a few drops and then a steady rain. I was not wet at all due to the shield of the tree. Again, like God sheltering us during trials.

An awesome storm blew up that evening. I was staying in a cottage that didn't have a radio or anything to find out news about this storm, so I prayed. Later I found out a tornado did go through near the town. I was kept safe in the house and protected from natural disaster. Again, my God is my protection in the storms of life.

These three tangible times of being protected and even refreshed help me really experience the truth of the verse in Proverbs...truly He is all I need!