Progress Isn't Always Moving Forward

"We are not living a a world where all roads are radii of a circle and where all, if followed long enough, will therefore draw gradually nearer and finally meet in the center: rather in a world where every road, after a few miles, forks into two, each of those into two again and at each fork you must make a decision. Even on the biological level life is not like a river but like a tree."
                                                                          ~C.S. Lewis, the Great Divorce

This quieted my heart as I started to view life as an adventure to live rather than a destination to obtain. My logical side can be very cause and effect/achievement oriented. It challenged my "perfectionism" side with the thought that there is more than one way to travel rather than the pressure of finding the one "correct" path.

All this got me thinking about growth and movement, especially when it relates to growing as a Christian. I used to strive after God through tons of study and reading...if I just obtained enough information, then I would know God or at least be able to mature as a believer. This is all forward movement...constantly adding another rung. While it can be helpful, it is exhausting honestly, if that is the only way to mature. God is opening my eyes to more...

While on vacation to Puerto Rico, I was enjoying the tropical scenery and noticed all the different types of movement that were catching my eye. It was as if God were showing me movement isn't always forward and all types are beautiful and necessary for He is a great God...master of all parts fitting together to make everything lovely.

Here is the list of movement He gave me in relation to spiritual growth:

• vertical--going deep instead of wide (letting truths sink deep into your heart until you "own" them)
• sprawling--like ivy on a wall---fellowship (as lives touch one another and abide in the Vine, the Kingdom grows)
• explosive--like a fish darting for cover (running to God in a storm or danger/uncertainty lurks, fleeing sin, resisting the enemy)
• walking from here to there--like the puppy that joined us on our morning walk (following God one step at a time enjoying His companionship and listening for His voice)
• stationary--like a palm tree blowing in the wind (a time to pause and reflect giving Him the glory, or worship with arms swinging)
• sedentary--like an anemone (they wait for food to come to them and digest it, like us digesting Truth)
• simply being--like a jellyfish floating in the currents (displaying His glory to the world just because we are alive and His unique creation)
• beauty--like a flower (Jesus in us should cause others to stop and enjoy, or inquire about what they see---that's movement in someone else, or should I say the ceasing of movement!)
• waiting--like a tide ebbing and flowing (there is a perfect rhythm to His timing, forward, back a bit, pause; it can seem like you're going nowhere and be a bit frustrating, but if we rest in His arms (the tide), we will end up where the tide is taking us)
• fluid--like water seeping into crevices (allowing God's spirit into all the spaces in our heart)

Don't fall into the trap of living only for measurable performance...there is freedom in all movement and all is orchestrated by Him. If we constantly strive and move out in human effort, its like being a piece of glass that can cut through things, but others may get hurt, including ourselves! If we allow His tide of grace and His timing to have effect, our edges will become smooth, even soft to the touch---we will be able to reach others more effectively. Obedience is surrender to His current and may seem like you are "doing" less, however, He works in more ways than simply moving forward...may His waves of grace wash over you...His grace takes time and is sufficient to make everything beautiful!

"For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28

Just Say "NO" to Worry

You've heard of "Just say no" to drugs because of the ill effects on your health--physically and mentally. However, worry is no less harmful. I shared a quote on Facebook that said, "Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere." The more I think about it, that makes the effects of worry sound actually peaceful; like a little old lady rocking on her porch as she knits baby booties. So I must add, "Just say no to worry"!

As I reflect on the effects of worry in my own life, I think its much more like tangling with a raging lion. Its like trying to keep the teeth at bay--much effort is used up in self protection, fixing the issue and eyes are totally on the "problem". It can feel productive, honestly, because it is protective--trying to figure out the way to safety for yourself or the one you are worrying about. It can be about control--in a fallen world, our heart cries for order and is frustrated by smacks of injustice, confusion, hurt, fear, being overwhelmed, or just things that irritate.

The fall brought our hearts the knowledge of good and evil...we now "naturally" take ownership of things that never were ours to carry or figure out. Gone is the complete trust and daily face to face communion with God...leaving our hearts independent, living as orphans in a scary world. Worry and fretting usually lead to the problem looking bigger than it is, create a striving spirit to "fix it" or a depressed/overwhelmed, tired soul. This is a huge cost with larger implications. Lost sleep robbing us of joy and energy that could be used for good, those over indulgences to temporarily give comfort/relief that actually bring shame, simply stress that makes us less graceful to others, or depression can set in that takes a life--either the quality of life or literally, physical life.

Yes, this lion rages, taunts, ridicules, then comes in to suck life if its not put in a cage. Jesus said He came to GIVE LIFE. We need Him to cage the lion so we can receive all this life! Only His strength and spirit are big enough to carry all the burdens this broken world will throw at us. We can walk safely, securely with a light spirit if we can see everything through the lens of trust--trusting Him to take care of us, to care for the burdens...if we cast our cares upon Him like our friend Peter says, then its like putting the raging lion in a cage at a zoo. We can walk by it, glance at it, but not obsess over it and enjoy the rest of the "zoo"--all of God's creativity, life and others around us.

I confess, I am an expert worrier...or used to be. As God comes for deeper parts of my heart, as I allow Him closer and receive His Fatherly love, it quiets my heart. Not that I don't get trapped into fretting and mulling over less than perfect situations, but I can catch myself...or should I say catch that lion and put a cage around it. Thank you Jesus, that you are always willing to catch the lions I throw at you. AND thank you more for the LIFE and JOY I find in you apart from the lions!

How about you, where are your lions? Are they raging in your face/heart/mind? Have you talked with Jesus about what's bothering you and let Him put a cage around it? He can and will carry it too! May you look back at your life and remember His faithfulness to you and others and gain the courage to trust Him in the face of the teeth that are coming at you! Trust Him, Talk to Him...I know its easier said than done, but take heed or you will get bit!

Job 4:8,10 "...those who sow trouble reap it. The lions may roar and growl, yet the teeth of the great lions are broken."

Psalm 37:1,3,4 "Do not fret...Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret..."

Psalm 37:8 " Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil."

You Are What You Eat

You've heard the saying, "you are what you eat." Have you ever thought about that in terms of your spiritual life? I heard a speaker last week talking about Psalm 23:5, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." He said knowing God is like a buffet table that is spread before the world and it’s our choice as His children what we are going to eat. For example the "meat" is studying the Word and the "dessert" of simply enjoying His presence with a quiet, worshipful heart. Not to mention all the options in between.

However, we don't always come to the table that's before us, preferring the junk food that's easier to grab---fretting, obsession with politics, busyness, relational issues and the list goes on. For me, this junk food steals my joy, makes me churned up inside and escalates the problems of the world. It’s like trying to solve all the problems first so I can trust and enjoy Jesus. We all know chips and candy do not lead to physical health. So why do we let the spiritual junk food rule our day? It’s like staring at a dark, gloomy mountain of junk that’s too high to climb, when I could be abiding in the vine, enjoying the Son and growing regardless of the world around me.

Perhaps you "eat" from the same place on the buffet, like a picky eater afraid to try something new. Always spending time with God the "same" way is safe but is boring and can feel "stuck"--try something different!

Welcome to God’s buffet---His Word, worship, devotionals, rich fellowship, extended times away/retreats, books to read, really letting go of sin/bitterness/etc., forgiveness, healing, someone to reach out to, opportunities to shine using your gifts, fasting, prayer, listening, dancing, desires He places in your heart…Come to the table and choose a balanced diet. It may take you out of your comfort zone, require self discipline to make time or better choices, or simply recognize a desire for more and a larger vision than going through the routine.

What are you feasting on? Are you tired of your spiritual meals? With the start of 2012, get out of the rut; how about trying something new off of His table? I dare you!!! You will be blessed. And you’ll discover there truly is always MORE!!!

Advice on Advice

Look around and it doesn't take long to see shattered lives, questions and burdens. I think its human nature to jump in and want to fix things, truly a compassionate side. However, could we be setting ourselves up in the place of God out of good intentions?

When someone shares a burden with me, I have to say I can quickly offer sympathy or jump to advice giving and find myself carrying the burden that isn't mine to carry and weighed down. So much human wisdom and understanding is passed around the church today--this can really be living life apart from the Holy Spirit. Fellowship is essential but only when it enhances walking with God and doesn't replace it. Advice giving can make others dependent on the advice giver and creates a good name for that person among peers, but is not pointing them to the Great I Am. Jesus said the government (burdens) rests on His shoulders, not mine! He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! (Is. 9:6)

A place to start when tempted to jump in with advice is to ask, "What is God telling you about this?" or simply, "Let's pray!" than to ramble with advice or scripture. No human will ever see the WHOLE picture as well as God. By inviting others to seek Him when they may be looking to you for advice, can free you from burdens while actively "doing something" about them at the same time. It honors God to seek Him and solicit His counsel for someone else especially when they have asked for it, knowing they are seeking Him as well and wanting confirmation, or humbly realize their emotions are so involved that they simply cannot "see" clearly--this is a humble posture on both sides, both the "counselor" and the "counselee" coming to God first...this is different than simply giving advice as shown by the humble dependence on God. May I get out of the way so the Prince of Peace may come into the situation--He is MORE than able!

There is nothing more beneficial than asking God and reminding others to do so--we are so quick to run to who we can see, instead of the infinite One who is with us but not seen. This is where the rubber meets the road when it comes to faith. As long as people insist on living apart from God, even surrounding themselves with spiritual input that is not prompted by the Spirit, there will be confusion, burdens, etc. These may be part of the fall or may be part of God's plan--either way, they can be used to woo people to deeper dependence on God instead of running to human comfort which can be living by sight.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trust in you...Lord they came to you in their distress." Isaiah 26:3, 16

Mary and Martha, a lesson in distractions

Most of us have heard about Mary and Martha--elevating Mary and shaming ourselves because we usually connect more with Martha, the one Jesus rebuked. However, in reading all the accounts of these two close friends of Jesus, I think there are lessons to learn from both.

Luke 10:38-41 is the famous passage about Martha being all busy and Mary adoringly sitting at Jesus' feet. First I want to point out that Martha is a go getter, she is the one who scripture says opened her home to Jesus and his disciples in their time of need--this shows a generous heart. She did miss the point of opening a home--fellowship and focused on preparations only. This is lesson number one from these two ladies...relationships come before duty. Don't let your "to do" list rule your life and cause you to miss your savior and other important relationships. This is especially timely as Christmas draws near! Life comes from time with Jesus, not crossing off your list!

The second story of these ladies is in their time of need...Lazarus' death (John 11). Mary and Martha are in their home with many friends who have come to comfort them. Jesus is making his way to them. Martha hears of this and goes out to meet him and we are told that Mary stays home. Martha spends some time with Jesus outside of the city and makes an amazing declaration of faith in the midst of her great loss. She then goes back and gets Mary. We are not told why Mary stayed home, but I wonder if its because she was too overcome with her own emotions. This is the second lesson...emotions are not to rule our life either. Martha chose to go to Jesus with her emotions and didn't wait until she "had it all together" before she sought Him. Both women when they see Jesus are very real with Him...they both are disappointed, having sent word of Lazarus' sickness that Jesus didn't come sooner to heal him. Of course we know His timing WAS perfect and meant for even greater good and glory. In fact by Lazarus dying and friends coming to comfort the sisters, MANY witnessed his coming back to life and we are told, many put their faith in Jesus that day.

There is a third account in John 12. Its very similar to when we first meet Mary and Martha...a dinner. I think this is a wonderful picture of them being who they were created to be in perfect balance. They are hosting a dinner in Jesus' honor. It says Martha served, Lazarus reclined at the table with Jesus and Mary poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. Each adoring Jesus with what they do best...an overflow of their heart. Martha is not rebuked for too much fretting...she must have learned from the first dinner! She pours out her heart with her hospitality skills. Mary pours out her emotion in a very tangible way.

Each of us has gifts and natural bents, may we pour them out in adoration for Jesus, but let them not rule us!

Desire and Delay part 3

My last blog talked of waiting or running when it comes to desire. Now, as I've lingered in this friendship desire and invited God to bring clarity...actually seeking Him and delighting in Him first...I've found a deeper, larger desire emerging. A desire for COMMUNITY!!! That's it...what started as more friends has become clarity for community...a group of people committed to one another with a larger purpose. So I started praying toward it and seeking God's lead instead of just plotting, planning and attending things.

I am realizing God is actually providing community all around me. Now that I have stopped just showing up to things for the sake of showing up--all good things honestly, but He hadn't led to them is the point. I've asked Him how to spend my time, who to seek out and actually am just watching Him work through conversations that come up. There are indeed others desiring similar community and He is knitting us together for something greater...to get a hold of deeper parts of our hearts and also outreach to others. As I quit grasping and come before Him honestly with my heart's desire...truly He longs to satisfy as the Father who delights to give good gifts to His children. Kind of like Christmas to a child---they express desires in what they want for Christmas and as parents we eagerly buy the gift and can't wait to see the joy of them receiving it. To not come to God with our desires robs Him the delight of providing and us the delight of receiving. This also reminds us that we are Fathered and quiets and strengthens our hearts. Not to mention the glory He receives by our testimony.

We are not to arrange for our happy little life in our own strength. Experience and scripture shows that we will end up in smaller, less satisfying places than if God had led. AND just like Christmas, we must be patient with hopeful anticipation that fulfillment is around the corner.

Desire is not meant to torture us nor to drive us to grasp at their attainment...Desire is meant to drive us into God's lap and grow our trust in Him as we wait and are satisfied...

"You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him." Psalm 145:16-18

Desire and Delay part 2

I blogged previously on desire and delay and the importance of waiting on God believing He uses our desires to draw us nearer to Him if we allow it. It is ok to desire and even necessary to live a fulfilled walk with God that is more than mere "rule following". Without desire, there is no passion, no eager hope, no dependence on God to provide for something out of reach...so let desire well up and bring it before the Lord, but be careful to linger and not run to satisfy the longing in your own strength or carefully crafted schemes.

You probably know the story of Exodus 32 where the people of God asked Aaron to make a god who would go before them. They had given up on ever seeing Moses who unbeknownst to them was receiving life giving instruction from God--the true God who desired to go before them as He faithfully had the whole journey out of Egypt. They went on to collect all their gold jewelry and make a golden calf. Its easy to scoff at them because we know how the story ends and see how much better it could have been. And we judge them that they gave up waiting in 40 days--the amount of time Moses was on the mountain WITH God. But are our hearts really that much different when we have a good desire?

The Israelites' desire for someone/something greater than themselves to go before them into unknown territory was a good, human desire--to not be on their own, to have a sense of protection and security that God had given. They got their eyes off of God and onto their desire alone. That was their fatal mistake. Then they became uncomfortable in their desire and especially the wait, and they grasped at anything to comfort them---a handmade golden calf.

We too have desires and we need to be careful to let God fulfill them. I have found this lingering desire for a few more friends. I can't explain it as I have several very meaningful relationships, yet the desire remains and grows. I get frustrated and beat myself up--why this desire? What's is for? How is it to be fulfilled? The accuser comes and whispers, "Its because you're needy...or there's something wrong with you...why can't you just be happy like other people and find more hobbies, etc." I then start to doubt, get frustrated...desire is awkward as it exposes something missing and a longing ache. I want to give up desire or shift it to a hobby, OR I recognize the desire and seek to satisfy it by running after friendships by joining groups that seem to promise or cling deeper to the friends I already have only to be frustrated by all. My focus is off. I am obsessing about the desire and how to fulfill it, which can lead to poor choices or an overcrowded schedule. I am not much different than the Israelites who crafted the cow out of things within their grasp...wow, is this convicting as I have read Exodus 32 with a bit of a scoffing heart at those weak and wayward people...so easily satisfied by a trinket when they could have had the living God and His blessing if they had only waited a few more days!

As with my desire, if I would stop trying to make it go away through grasping (my first reaction to the awkwardness) and actually rest and acknowledge the "hunger" that is welling up, I have an opportunity to invite Jesus in. I'm sure He has a plan that will surprise and bless me once He speaks--but I will miss is as long as I insist on a quick fix to the issue.

To wait or to run...that is the question and it is a choice based on the posture of your heart!