Kingdom For Sale

"You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High." ~Isaiah 14:13-14

As I write, it is the middle of June and the lazy days of summer are upon us...lazy, my foot! I have five children clamoring for what to do, can I get a ride here, etc. I find my life anything but lazy and honestly my heart is a bit overwhelmed...how can I meet all these needs and wants?

It dawned on me I am carrying more than is mine to carry. Why do I always go to this place of thinking its all up to me...I can and must come through for all the needs around me! That is quite a burden to live under. Very far from the burden is light and yoke is easy stuff I read Jesus telling me in His Word.

At first, the above verse made me think of the arrogance of Satan before his fall from heaven...wanting to be like God. I was encouraged to tuck this away for my talks around spiritual warfare and God's kingdom at women's events. I was shaking my head at Lucifer's pride and worshipping God for His might, wisdom and wonder. THEN it dawned on me...am I much different? Isn't this the lie whispered in the garden..."the serpent said to the woman, 'For God knows that when you eat of (the fruit) your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God..."

Believe it or not this is the root of the pressure I am feeling this summer! As a mom, I am seeing myself as the one to come through for all my kids' desires, do all character training, encourage life and protect them from the evils of the world. In my heart I am building a kingdom around ME and MY strength! And in this way I am "making myself like God" who is the giver of good things, the fortress to run to in time of need and the one to show the path to life. He is more jealous for my family's hearts and more capable of providing than I ever will be.

To go a bit deeper for my own heart...whenever I have suffered hurt, disappointment or lack, I have spent time going through the facts logically and reaching a conclusion that explained it away. All of this to protect my heart from feeling hurt, because I had no clue what to do with that emotion. So if I could come to an explanation for the "injury", I could avoid the pain and keep my heart pushed down. In a way I was elevating MYSELF (my mind) over a situation and building MY kingdom/throne that I could manage and control, intellectually at least. As an example, I rationalized my father's suicide as him really loving me by leaving life insurance money behind. What kind of explanation is that?! Or when I've had a fall out with a friend, I blame myself for making a mistake in communication which leads to shame. Again, what kind of reason is that?!

The Light has shone on this dark place and I now realize, rationalizing kept me from feeling the hurt, for a while, and it also kept me from running to God and His kingdom for comfort and protection. I set myself up to live apart from His presence and replaced it with my own throne of understanding! YIKES, this sounds so backwards and obvious, but it is so subtle that I am just now having the eyes of my heart opened to this prison I created.

Eventually the heart must speak! That is where the healing, freedom and life is. Not in understanding, but in trusting Jesus enough to run to Him to pour out my heart, wanting comfort and not demanding explanation nor understanding. I now know He will comfort me, bring truth and He is enough for every situation I will face...this is an uncertain world but I have a Rock as a Redeemer and need no fear of what will happen, nor need to control to feel safe!

Hence, my old kingdom is for sale and praise God Jesus' blood has paid for it. He takes it upon Himself so I can be rid of it and runs to me with HIS Kingdom of love, comfort and joy. Not to mention carrying my burdens and my family. I give you all Jesus and help me RUN to you in emotional upset when I am tempted to sit on my throne and rule with understanding. Understanding is a poor scepter when I can live loved as your daughter, a princess, who is radiant and free because of you.

WORSHIP~A Deeper Surrender

Feeling rested for the first time in about 2 months and honestly a little lost. We had an amazing event through our ministry, All Things New, and life seems a bit empty now that the prep work and offering is complete...kind of like preparing for a wedding...the event is over, now what? So yesterday I simply asked Jesus, "What do you want to say to me?" I share what follows as an offering of worship...a deeper surrender. May you be encouraged! Here is what came to my heart...

"I love your heart...it is a vast open space for my Spirit to dwell. I long to meet you in worship. Sometimes you think too much. Sorting out things and understanding are your glory especially since you pass the nuggets on to others. However, there is a deeper surrender...in worship, simply commune with Me, delight in Me, be strengthened and nourished in My Presence, declare My Glory and lift up My Name...

• Holy, Holy am I
• I am worthy
• I am on high
• I am sovereign
• I am friendly
• I am powerful
• I am joy
• I am reckless-seeking more always, going for hearts
• I am jovial
• I am serious
• I am committed
• I simply AM because I am the Great I Am
• I am eternal
• I see all
• I know all
• I am all
• I am vast and deep/I am wide and long
• I am in sorrow and pain as well as gladness and joy
• I am safe
• I am healing and wholeness
• I am a shelter
• I am mighty
• I am not thwarted
• I am not mocked
• I am not made weak
• I do not tire
• I am merciful and just
• I am good
• I am for you-who can stand against you?!
• I am your confidence
• I am at your right hand
• I am a deliverer
• I am righteous
• I am jealous and will not share my glory with another
• I am power
• I go before you
• I carry you
• I look after you
• I long for you
• I am freedom
• I am full of surprises
• I am fullness of life
• I am not put in a box
• I am vast
• I am creative and creating
• I am relational
• I am orderly, but not predictable
• I am lovely and kind
• I am near, I am far, I am everywhere
• I am redeemer and sustainer
• I am enduring
• I am love
• I am a law unto Myself filled with grace and mercy
• I am faithful and true
• I am truth
• I am the light of the world
• I am life
• I am lively
• I delight
• I speak
• I command
• I woo
• I thwart
• I hem in
• I push forward
• I lead
• I demonstrate
• I show
• I fly
• I soar
• I roar
• I whisper
• I surprise
• I comfort
• I long
• I frustrate
• I rejoice
• I commend
• I knit together
• I forgive
• I forget/don't keep records of wrongs
• I anoint
• I align
• I unify

• I divide
• I am a marvel
• I see, I hear, I feel
• I know
• I am knowable
• I am wise
• I am food for the soul
• I am excellent"

Hallelujah! AMEN!!!

Enjoy Come to Me by Jenn Johnson

from YouTube

Progress Isn't Always Moving Forward

"We are not living a a world where all roads are radii of a circle and where all, if followed long enough, will therefore draw gradually nearer and finally meet in the center: rather in a world where every road, after a few miles, forks into two, each of those into two again and at each fork you must make a decision. Even on the biological level life is not like a river but like a tree."
                                                                          ~C.S. Lewis, the Great Divorce

This quieted my heart as I started to view life as an adventure to live rather than a destination to obtain. My logical side can be very cause and effect/achievement oriented. It challenged my "perfectionism" side with the thought that there is more than one way to travel rather than the pressure of finding the one "correct" path.

All this got me thinking about growth and movement, especially when it relates to growing as a Christian. I used to strive after God through tons of study and reading...if I just obtained enough information, then I would know God or at least be able to mature as a believer. This is all forward movement...constantly adding another rung. While it can be helpful, it is exhausting honestly, if that is the only way to mature. God is opening my eyes to more...

While on vacation to Puerto Rico, I was enjoying the tropical scenery and noticed all the different types of movement that were catching my eye. It was as if God were showing me movement isn't always forward and all types are beautiful and necessary for He is a great God...master of all parts fitting together to make everything lovely.

Here is the list of movement He gave me in relation to spiritual growth:

• vertical--going deep instead of wide (letting truths sink deep into your heart until you "own" them)
• sprawling--like ivy on a wall---fellowship (as lives touch one another and abide in the Vine, the Kingdom grows)
• explosive--like a fish darting for cover (running to God in a storm or danger/uncertainty lurks, fleeing sin, resisting the enemy)
• walking from here to there--like the puppy that joined us on our morning walk (following God one step at a time enjoying His companionship and listening for His voice)
• stationary--like a palm tree blowing in the wind (a time to pause and reflect giving Him the glory, or worship with arms swinging)
• sedentary--like an anemone (they wait for food to come to them and digest it, like us digesting Truth)
• simply being--like a jellyfish floating in the currents (displaying His glory to the world just because we are alive and His unique creation)
• beauty--like a flower (Jesus in us should cause others to stop and enjoy, or inquire about what they see---that's movement in someone else, or should I say the ceasing of movement!)
• waiting--like a tide ebbing and flowing (there is a perfect rhythm to His timing, forward, back a bit, pause; it can seem like you're going nowhere and be a bit frustrating, but if we rest in His arms (the tide), we will end up where the tide is taking us)
• fluid--like water seeping into crevices (allowing God's spirit into all the spaces in our heart)

Don't fall into the trap of living only for measurable performance...there is freedom in all movement and all is orchestrated by Him. If we constantly strive and move out in human effort, its like being a piece of glass that can cut through things, but others may get hurt, including ourselves! If we allow His tide of grace and His timing to have effect, our edges will become smooth, even soft to the touch---we will be able to reach others more effectively. Obedience is surrender to His current and may seem like you are "doing" less, however, He works in more ways than simply moving forward...may His waves of grace wash over you...His grace takes time and is sufficient to make everything beautiful!

"For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28

Just Say "NO" to Worry

You've heard of "Just say no" to drugs because of the ill effects on your health--physically and mentally. However, worry is no less harmful. I shared a quote on Facebook that said, "Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere." The more I think about it, that makes the effects of worry sound actually peaceful; like a little old lady rocking on her porch as she knits baby booties. So I must add, "Just say no to worry"!

As I reflect on the effects of worry in my own life, I think its much more like tangling with a raging lion. Its like trying to keep the teeth at bay--much effort is used up in self protection, fixing the issue and eyes are totally on the "problem". It can feel productive, honestly, because it is protective--trying to figure out the way to safety for yourself or the one you are worrying about. It can be about control--in a fallen world, our heart cries for order and is frustrated by smacks of injustice, confusion, hurt, fear, being overwhelmed, or just things that irritate.

The fall brought our hearts the knowledge of good and evil...we now "naturally" take ownership of things that never were ours to carry or figure out. Gone is the complete trust and daily face to face communion with God...leaving our hearts independent, living as orphans in a scary world. Worry and fretting usually lead to the problem looking bigger than it is, create a striving spirit to "fix it" or a depressed/overwhelmed, tired soul. This is a huge cost with larger implications. Lost sleep robbing us of joy and energy that could be used for good, those over indulgences to temporarily give comfort/relief that actually bring shame, simply stress that makes us less graceful to others, or depression can set in that takes a life--either the quality of life or literally, physical life.

Yes, this lion rages, taunts, ridicules, then comes in to suck life if its not put in a cage. Jesus said He came to GIVE LIFE. We need Him to cage the lion so we can receive all this life! Only His strength and spirit are big enough to carry all the burdens this broken world will throw at us. We can walk safely, securely with a light spirit if we can see everything through the lens of trust--trusting Him to take care of us, to care for the burdens...if we cast our cares upon Him like our friend Peter says, then its like putting the raging lion in a cage at a zoo. We can walk by it, glance at it, but not obsess over it and enjoy the rest of the "zoo"--all of God's creativity, life and others around us.

I confess, I am an expert worrier...or used to be. As God comes for deeper parts of my heart, as I allow Him closer and receive His Fatherly love, it quiets my heart. Not that I don't get trapped into fretting and mulling over less than perfect situations, but I can catch myself...or should I say catch that lion and put a cage around it. Thank you Jesus, that you are always willing to catch the lions I throw at you. AND thank you more for the LIFE and JOY I find in you apart from the lions!

How about you, where are your lions? Are they raging in your face/heart/mind? Have you talked with Jesus about what's bothering you and let Him put a cage around it? He can and will carry it too! May you look back at your life and remember His faithfulness to you and others and gain the courage to trust Him in the face of the teeth that are coming at you! Trust Him, Talk to Him...I know its easier said than done, but take heed or you will get bit!

Job 4:8,10 "...those who sow trouble reap it. The lions may roar and growl, yet the teeth of the great lions are broken."

Psalm 37:1,3,4 "Do not fret...Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret..."

Psalm 37:8 " Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil."

You Are What You Eat

You've heard the saying, "you are what you eat." Have you ever thought about that in terms of your spiritual life? I heard a speaker last week talking about Psalm 23:5, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." He said knowing God is like a buffet table that is spread before the world and it’s our choice as His children what we are going to eat. For example the "meat" is studying the Word and the "dessert" of simply enjoying His presence with a quiet, worshipful heart. Not to mention all the options in between.

However, we don't always come to the table that's before us, preferring the junk food that's easier to grab---fretting, obsession with politics, busyness, relational issues and the list goes on. For me, this junk food steals my joy, makes me churned up inside and escalates the problems of the world. It’s like trying to solve all the problems first so I can trust and enjoy Jesus. We all know chips and candy do not lead to physical health. So why do we let the spiritual junk food rule our day? It’s like staring at a dark, gloomy mountain of junk that’s too high to climb, when I could be abiding in the vine, enjoying the Son and growing regardless of the world around me.

Perhaps you "eat" from the same place on the buffet, like a picky eater afraid to try something new. Always spending time with God the "same" way is safe but is boring and can feel "stuck"--try something different!

Welcome to God’s buffet---His Word, worship, devotionals, rich fellowship, extended times away/retreats, books to read, really letting go of sin/bitterness/etc., forgiveness, healing, someone to reach out to, opportunities to shine using your gifts, fasting, prayer, listening, dancing, desires He places in your heart…Come to the table and choose a balanced diet. It may take you out of your comfort zone, require self discipline to make time or better choices, or simply recognize a desire for more and a larger vision than going through the routine.

What are you feasting on? Are you tired of your spiritual meals? With the start of 2012, get out of the rut; how about trying something new off of His table? I dare you!!! You will be blessed. And you’ll discover there truly is always MORE!!!

Advice on Advice

Look around and it doesn't take long to see shattered lives, questions and burdens. I think its human nature to jump in and want to fix things, truly a compassionate side. However, could we be setting ourselves up in the place of God out of good intentions?

When someone shares a burden with me, I have to say I can quickly offer sympathy or jump to advice giving and find myself carrying the burden that isn't mine to carry and weighed down. So much human wisdom and understanding is passed around the church today--this can really be living life apart from the Holy Spirit. Fellowship is essential but only when it enhances walking with God and doesn't replace it. Advice giving can make others dependent on the advice giver and creates a good name for that person among peers, but is not pointing them to the Great I Am. Jesus said the government (burdens) rests on His shoulders, not mine! He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! (Is. 9:6)

A place to start when tempted to jump in with advice is to ask, "What is God telling you about this?" or simply, "Let's pray!" than to ramble with advice or scripture. No human will ever see the WHOLE picture as well as God. By inviting others to seek Him when they may be looking to you for advice, can free you from burdens while actively "doing something" about them at the same time. It honors God to seek Him and solicit His counsel for someone else especially when they have asked for it, knowing they are seeking Him as well and wanting confirmation, or humbly realize their emotions are so involved that they simply cannot "see" clearly--this is a humble posture on both sides, both the "counselor" and the "counselee" coming to God first...this is different than simply giving advice as shown by the humble dependence on God. May I get out of the way so the Prince of Peace may come into the situation--He is MORE than able!

There is nothing more beneficial than asking God and reminding others to do so--we are so quick to run to who we can see, instead of the infinite One who is with us but not seen. This is where the rubber meets the road when it comes to faith. As long as people insist on living apart from God, even surrounding themselves with spiritual input that is not prompted by the Spirit, there will be confusion, burdens, etc. These may be part of the fall or may be part of God's plan--either way, they can be used to woo people to deeper dependence on God instead of running to human comfort which can be living by sight.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trust in you...Lord they came to you in their distress." Isaiah 26:3, 16

Mary and Martha, a lesson in distractions

Most of us have heard about Mary and Martha--elevating Mary and shaming ourselves because we usually connect more with Martha, the one Jesus rebuked. However, in reading all the accounts of these two close friends of Jesus, I think there are lessons to learn from both.

Luke 10:38-41 is the famous passage about Martha being all busy and Mary adoringly sitting at Jesus' feet. First I want to point out that Martha is a go getter, she is the one who scripture says opened her home to Jesus and his disciples in their time of need--this shows a generous heart. She did miss the point of opening a home--fellowship and focused on preparations only. This is lesson number one from these two ladies...relationships come before duty. Don't let your "to do" list rule your life and cause you to miss your savior and other important relationships. This is especially timely as Christmas draws near! Life comes from time with Jesus, not crossing off your list!

The second story of these ladies is in their time of need...Lazarus' death (John 11). Mary and Martha are in their home with many friends who have come to comfort them. Jesus is making his way to them. Martha hears of this and goes out to meet him and we are told that Mary stays home. Martha spends some time with Jesus outside of the city and makes an amazing declaration of faith in the midst of her great loss. She then goes back and gets Mary. We are not told why Mary stayed home, but I wonder if its because she was too overcome with her own emotions. This is the second lesson...emotions are not to rule our life either. Martha chose to go to Jesus with her emotions and didn't wait until she "had it all together" before she sought Him. Both women when they see Jesus are very real with Him...they both are disappointed, having sent word of Lazarus' sickness that Jesus didn't come sooner to heal him. Of course we know His timing WAS perfect and meant for even greater good and glory. In fact by Lazarus dying and friends coming to comfort the sisters, MANY witnessed his coming back to life and we are told, many put their faith in Jesus that day.

There is a third account in John 12. Its very similar to when we first meet Mary and Martha...a dinner. I think this is a wonderful picture of them being who they were created to be in perfect balance. They are hosting a dinner in Jesus' honor. It says Martha served, Lazarus reclined at the table with Jesus and Mary poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. Each adoring Jesus with what they do best...an overflow of their heart. Martha is not rebuked for too much fretting...she must have learned from the first dinner! She pours out her heart with her hospitality skills. Mary pours out her emotion in a very tangible way.

Each of us has gifts and natural bents, may we pour them out in adoration for Jesus, but let them not rule us!