My last blog talked of waiting or running when it comes to desire. Now, as I've lingered in this friendship desire and invited God to bring clarity...actually seeking Him and delighting in Him first...I've found a deeper, larger desire emerging. A desire for COMMUNITY!!! That's it...what started as more friends has become clarity for community...a group of people committed to one another with a larger purpose. So I started praying toward it and seeking God's lead instead of just plotting, planning and attending things.I am realizing God is actually providing community all around me. Now that I have stopped just showing up to things for the sake of showing up--all good things honestly, but He hadn't led to them is the point. I've asked Him how to spend my time, who to seek out and actually am just watching Him work through conversations that come up. There are indeed others desiring similar community and He is knitting us together for something greater...to get a hold of deeper parts of our hearts and also outreach to others. As I quit grasping and come before Him honestly with my heart's desire...truly He longs to satisfy as the Father who delights to give good gifts to His children. Kind of like Christmas to a child---they express desires in what they want for Christmas and as parents we eagerly buy the gift and can't wait to see the joy of them receiving it. To not come to God with our desires robs Him the delight of providing and us the delight of receiving. This also reminds us that we are Fathered and quiets and strengthens our hearts. Not to mention the glory He receives by our testimony.
We are not to arrange for our happy little life in our own strength. Experience and scripture shows that we will end up in smaller, less satisfying places than if God had led. AND just like Christmas, we must be patient with hopeful anticipation that fulfillment is around the corner.
Desire is not meant to torture us nor to drive us to grasp at their attainment...Desire is meant to drive us into God's lap and grow our trust in Him as we wait and are satisfied...
"You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him." Psalm 145:16-18
